Sometimes, I feel stuck in my problems. It is as though I have been tasked to eat a whole elephant. How does one eat a whole elephant?
I go to my journal or talk to trustworthy people about the elephant. I talk about specific problems I am facing, and get them written down. If I cannot write/talk about my issues, or put a finger on any of them, drawing an abstract picture in color about my feelings can help bridge that gap.
When I am stuck or paralyzed, I find there are many things floating around in my mind-heart that are causing issues. I write each one down and end up with a list of smaller pieces to work on.
After dividing the elephant, I conquer it in small portions at a time. I develop habits that lead to the life I want to live. Otherwise, the elephant will remain whole – and I shall stay stuck in my problems indefinitely.
photo credit: The British Library British Library digitised image from page 215 of “The Land of the Lion; or, Adventures among the wild animals of Africa. With … illustrations” via photopin (license)
I look back inside my psychotic death;
mind, none fathomed my plane exists, being
in the moment. All seemed natural, loving.
Left my body in these moments’ deep breaths:
A fully conscious veil of living death,
touched and healed by the Light’s power teeming.
I fly through the ward, without much speaking.
Peers react to thoughts/intentions, confess:
Faces, actions all spiritually declothed:
their thoughts, emotions, intentions, I see.
She briefly comes to mind while I fly high.
In my asylum room, we’re befuddled,
We see our empty vessels, flesh and be,
Our flesh journals on her, our being thrives.
photo credit: marfis75 Im Schacht. via photopin (license)
How God became one and the rest of the universe became one is the seed we all carry that sprouts after death. Wherever we look we see glimpses and clues of it: never the full picture, whether microscope or telescope.
We are capable of understanding, but no one is capable of explaining how we each became 1 from the formless, infinite amnesia of the world’s past.
When time lapses, we will have a living explanation of… Everything. We will have eaten the choice forbidden knowledge, paid the consequences, and love its wisdom.
That is wholeness, or what we call “heaven,” or “paradise.” It is the fruits of God’s labor. Our labor.
photo credit: amandabhslater First Seedling
via photopin (license)
Life’s simple motions
Become thrilling song and dance
As God closes in
photo credit: easter morning dancing via photopin (license)
Storm of Butterflies
Effect shatters foundations
Like Potter like clay
photo credit: Monarch Butterfly cluster via photopin (license)
Two hard life lessons:
Learn why and what evil is;
Holster my free will
photo credit: Yellow road via photopin (license)
I have three things going on in my life that are all stressing me out to the max: I’m losing my job tomorrow, my mom, and something personal.
I’m in tears at this point. It sucks. I don’t know what to do. It’s been so long since it’s been this bad. I need to cry. I was doing so good before, and now I’m broken AGAIN! WHY?! What did I fucking do to deserve all of this? Why can’t life just go smoothly? I haven’t stopped crying, bawling my soul out. It’s taken me over 5 minutes to write this paragraph.
After crying so hard, I feel oddly okay. After processing in my journal, things are much better. I think I just needed to do both. More of both lay ahead of me, however. Sometimes, you can’t stand strong or stand tall. Time to meditate.