Mental Modulations of Time

In special states of mind, time flows in a circle, particularly in both elevated and deeper states of mind. This can be due to meditation, mental illness states, drug-induced, or during visions.

In every day states of mind, time flows in what seems a unidirectional line of time from the past to the present to the future, not going backwards.

In between the special and every day mental states, time can slow down, even close to a hault, such as during a fight or flight experience or hypomania. Time can also speed up, such as when one loses time during a depressive episode or when having a good time.

During special mental states, the timeline going in a circle is the realm of time close to being lapsed. In this realm, we explore ourselves from without and within. Other areas I explored include love, faith, wisdom, my deepest wounds, my highest moments, angels, demons, Christ, Father, Wisdom, the other side, and everything in between.

The results of my psychotic episodes due to bipolar I mania were profoundly life changing. Time behaved as a circle during the extreme portions of these experiences. It flowed in everything as a gentle river does. Time was refined, not wasted, at peace, whether I was surrounded by evil or God’s presence.

In every day life, we can try to live our lives to the best and the fullest. Or, every moment can be seen as a moment closer to death. The first option is the better one for living one’s life to the best and fullest in love. Being negative all the time feels like dying – in a bad way. Both outlooks rub off on people around us.

-theothersid3

Explanation of Death by Psychosis: Part 3

I met the faces of wisdom and folly during my first psychotic break at age 17 on 12-25-03 in Orlando, FL. I experienced the faces of good and evil with my entire being during this vision.

At first, I was with wisdom’s embodied spirit. She gently pointed me to my then unknown wife, by name on that Christmas morning, 2003 in Orlando, FL.

Folly, wisdom’s shadow, appeared after wisdom left, the one who helped make my life a standstill for 6 years. She tied my soul to another woman, my obsession, via black magic. She snuck her spirit in to guide me to darkness every step of the way and shut out God’s light.

I experienced a couple of spectacular organic, drug-free trips down rabbit holes which ripped my mind-heart-spirit from my body. It reached the point where I physically looked down on my body, an empty vessel on autopilot.

The first trip was immediately after my vision on 12-25-03. The second trip was 6 years later at age 23 starting on 6-16-09 the first day of my second hospital stay.

The next step both times was to climb back out. I was lucky they ran their courses safely back to reality both times instead of being stuck in a state of perpetual psychosis afterwards.

The next step is to recover from this profoundly intriguing, devastating trauma. 17 years later, I am starting to wrap this up. For me, this involves developing the lens of my worldview after having such intense spiritual experiences, making peace with them, and gleaning the good from them to take ownership of.

I did everything I could do short of physically dying in the face of evil after folly put a spell on me. Mentally, my spirit was broken in 2003 and began to heal in 2009. I held onto the experience I had with wisdom to keep myself together during those 6 years.

6-16-09 marked the first day of my second hospital stay and the second trip down the psychotic rabbit hole, which was book 2 after book 1 being the first trip. When God laid his hands on my spiritual heart and brought me back, he shattered the twisted black magic from my own folly and folly’s.

7 years later on 6-16-16 marks the first day of my third hospital stay. I did not go down the rabbit hole, but I learned what the darkness and the light and everything in between sounded like in my head. I learned discernment during that stay.

The face of evil leaves behind the darkest shadows that none can pluck. They haunt me and I learned to shut them out. It is so personal and potentially destructive, I cannot acknowledge these shadows in the wake of wisdom. They come from the darkest cesspool of Gehenna, where the filth and bodies are burned.

With the light of wisdom in the world comes the shadow of folly in the world. Both go hand in hand. I choose to pursue wisdom as best I can. The light brightens the more I pursue wisdom and love.

Decades later, I have a deeper connection with God as a result. I also have a connection with darkness I have learned to manage. The darkness is my shadow, not me. The brighter I shine, the smaller and darker the shadows become.

I am still building myself up at age 34 in 2020, 17 years after age 17 in 2003. My wife embodies that spirit of wisdom I encountered at age 17. My wife is a person of God and formed from my rib, the one wisdom indicated by name. I experience God through her.

The shadows stay in my little black box I made for them in my mind.

-theothersid3

Haikus of Death by Psychosis: Part 2

She was a burden.
As my empty vessel writes,
I undo the spell.

Its vines choke my heart.
They whither, releasing me,
both body and mind.

Yahweh lights my heart,
freeing me of obsessions,
from past black magic.

Last week, six years past,
I was beyond manic and
Completely sober.

God’s shadow showed me
unwittingly, black magic:
tied her soul to mine.

Violent lightning and
earthshaking cracks, followed by
God’s hands on my heart.

I am in Shalom,
and strongly linked to the past;
live all moments now.

After time lapses,
I observe all, everything
within my mind’s scope.

So I float along.
Outside my vessel I scout,
everything Shalom.

Seventeen years now,
since the black magic sentence,
since my first visions.

Eleven years now,
since I watched my body write,
release her; free me.

My visions tunnel,
they pick up where they leave off
Mind dipped in Shalom.

-theothersid3

theothersid3 on Black Lives Matter

Overall, there are good white people and bad white people.

Overall, there are good black people and bad black people.

Overall, there are good Hispanic people and bad Hispanic people.

Overall, there are good Asian people and bad Asian people.

Overall, there are good people of other/mixed races and bad people of other/mixed races.

Overall, there are good men and bad men.

Overall, there are good women and bad women.

Overall, there are good people of other genders and bad people of other genders.

No matter where you are in the world, the above is true.

I have been saved by white, black, Hispanic, Asian, and other people. I have been screwed over by white, black, Hispanic, Asian, and other people.

How one person treats others reflects not just on that one person. Sadly, people tend to generalize and remember the bad. Receiving bad treatment impacts the victim. It also reflects forward on everyone of the perpetrator’s race or demographic in the eyes of the victim.

It is everyone’s responsibility to treat others with love in its flavor that is appropriate: tough love, romantic love, sibling love, enemy love, friendship love, parental love, unconditional love, or a called-for combination of these.

The race one is born into should not inspire prejudice. It is not our place to judge human beings, period. However, there is no avoiding the race factor as it has been happening beyond the scope of our lives in all the history of mankind.

Black people were dealt a particularly bad hand, especially amongst white people. As easily shown above, we are all the same: good, bad, and everything in between. We are all people. In reality, race is not a factor for the morality of any individual. However, every person can choose to make race a factor.

Treat black lives the same as any other in love as all human beings deserve. We cannot control the actions of others, but we can all take personal responsibility in this matter.

Be the change you want to see in the world. Spread the love.

-theothersid3

photo credit: monteregina Bud abstract – Bouton floral abstrait via photopin (license)

It takes one to know one

If number 1 did not exist, nothing could exist other than fundamental chaos. Mathematics would collapse. Our solid ground never could be, as it would give like quick sand in the absence of 1.

Everything physical is a distinct object made of atoms on different levels. Underneath in the subatomic realm, it is chaotic and exceedingly complex. However, all physical objects arrive to our perception as 1 from the chaos, intact.

For there to be single atoms, molecules, cells, larger physical objects, etc, there must be order in the first place. Any number can be multiplied by 1 and equal the same number. Well, we all take that for granted. Without 1, there is no reference for anything, including every word and letter you are looking at now.

Where did the original 1 come from? The infinite regression of the universe’s origins such as number 1 in particular, necessitates a starting point. Coincidentally, there is a being who calls xemself “I AM,” the origin of existence. Yahweh my God is 1.

Thinking about and experiencing the number 1, knowing God is the ground we stand on, allows me to know myself and others better, and see the world more clearly.

To deny the necessity and origin of 1 is to deny yourself and others of existence, resulting in a Cartesian self – some more so than others.

-theothersid3

photo credit: andreas.klodt Atomic model – Christmas ball ornaments via photopin (license)

The New Beginning

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I became married to my beautiful wife a few months ago. The all-encompassing, loving force she has on my naked self is stronger than gravity. I mean my dreams, my mind-heart, my spirit, my soul, my strength.

There have been many shifts in me since I met her. She helps me see the path to my dreams more clearly, we quench our thirsty mind-hearts together, she provides joy to my spirit, invites God into our lives and relationship, and takes care of me to keep my strength up.

Bipolar I is now a small burden to deal with. Instead, life is sprouting from those decomposed wounds of the past, and bipolar now acts as an inspiration of many great potentials. Inspirations in my daily life, my worldview, and my outlook for the rest of my life.

My wife and I have committed to write the books of our lives together till death do us part. If there is a way to follow her into the dark, I will without a doubt.

With each other, we can proceed to the next contexts of life and enjoy each moment. Together.

-theothersid3

 

photo credit: mclcbooks Sunrise, Chatfield State Park, Colorado via photopin (license)

Seven Haikus for my Wife

White Licking Flames

 

Where we’ve been; when we met.

 

High, wide, deep faulter.

For love is within, from One.

Agape, forged strong.

 

No sun. No moon. Pain –

fans the flames of your heart’s forge.

Dark flames fueled by dust.

 

The dust turns mad; A

surge of madness fuels dark flames,

rotting my heart’s flesh

 

Ignorance was light;

But the Anesthesia of

Denial – is gone.

 

Numbs our hearts no more.

Our minds race, hearts infected,

roasting on dark flames.

 

We get up, move on.

Unrequited love shadows

the aligning stars.

 

As a thief love came,

requited mind-hearts ablaze;

White flames lick ours both.

 

-theothersid3

 

 

photo credit: joncutrer Mystic flames via photopin (license)