There, my unborn self sits, quivering in agony. I was there before anything on that other realm of existence, which I couldn’t seem to snap to. I am lost and alone, scraping on the figurative, imprisoning brick walls of infinity to change that. What so-called [billionth year?] is it in the universe? Is there still time left?
Everything is going in circles ad infinitum. There is no answer… But there HAS to be!
I speak in words.
-theothersid3
Without rules, there is only chaos. Without chaos, there are only rules.
-theothersid3
We are witnesses.
Darkest darkness, lightest light.
We have been and lived.
Demons scratch our backs,
gargling innocent blood
right next to our ears.
We received our wings;
Wisdom showed herself to us
and raptured again.
-theothersid3
All potentials for evil doing are there. What shines very bright also casts very dark shadows.
I gave the key to light, not darkness. Darkness had quite a crack at me in Park Place in 2003-2004. I hold the key now after God hands me what I can handle. That key had the power to unlock very dark doors – and my demons tried to force my mind, hand, and spirit. I chose not to go there and that is the saving grace that led me here, free of the need for an exorcism.
The shadow’s potentials do exist. My demons try to twist me into the shadows. However, I am not my shadows. I simply cast them.
-theothersid3
During those timeless moments of pulling the God string, borders ceased to be. Everything seemed to converge on one point. One. God. The foundation of our very existence. The same unseen now.
I see what our subconsciousness sees through the veil on the other side, then look behind me. There sits my empty vessel, writing pen to paper away all my problems without a soul to see in it. A computer bot could have written those words down on that paper, except it was my handwriting.
Our plane is the crest of every wavelength, the physical realm, the world of atoms. Our world is much, much deeper and more expansive than atoms.
-theothersid3
There is a direct line to God. It is what I call the “God string.” Give it a pull and you see the world from your own eyes the way God intended us to see the world, in that particular moment or bigger time periods. How did I pull the string? I asked God to do his will, not my own. Then, after my eyes were open, I was dead and born again.
-theothersid3
My inheritance…
Their generational sins,
mouth and hands alike.
Darkness seeps through me,
cracks in my subconsciousness,
dark energy’s Wombs.
My words, actions, are
in ways just like my father’s,
just like my mother’s.
The bedrock walls of
my mind turn to ashes; I
cross the veil as One.
A tri-braided cord:
Trifecta of love, God, us –
a gift from heaven.
We swallow, it binds.
Devour bitter, little scrolls,
forbidden knowledge.
Dark puppet strings pop:
severed from our mind-hearts; we
take up wings and fly.
-theothersid3
Where Mad Hatter dreams,
the sharpest minds become blunt;
here, I cross over.
Between light and dark
lies lucid experience:
demons, Diety.
Both ravage my flesh,
state of living death; lost here,
in the asylum?
-theothersid3
I met the faces of wisdom and folly during my first psychotic break at age 17 on 12-25-03 in Orlando, FL. I experienced the faces of good and evil with my entire being during this vision.
At first, I was with wisdom’s embodied spirit. She gently pointed me to my then unknown wife, by name on that Christmas morning, 2003 in Orlando, FL.
Folly, wisdom’s shadow, appeared after wisdom left, the one who helped make my life a standstill for 6 years. She tied my soul to another woman, my obsession, via black magic. She snuck her spirit in to guide me to darkness every step of the way and shut out God’s light.
I experienced a couple of spectacular organic, drug-free trips down rabbit holes which ripped my mind-heart-spirit from my body. It reached the point where I physically looked down on my body, an empty vessel on autopilot.
The first trip was immediately after my vision on 12-25-03. The second trip was 6 years later at age 23 starting on 6-16-09 the first day of my second hospital stay.
The next step both times was to climb back out. I was lucky they ran their courses safely back to reality both times instead of being stuck in a state of perpetual psychosis afterwards.
The next step is to recover from this profoundly intriguing, devastating trauma. 17 years later, I am starting to wrap this up. For me, this involves developing the lens of my worldview after having such intense spiritual experiences, making peace with them, and gleaning the good from them to take ownership of.
I did everything I could do short of physically dying in the face of evil after folly put a spell on me. Mentally, my spirit was broken in 2003 and began to heal in 2009. I held onto the experience I had with wisdom to keep myself together during those 6 years.
6-16-09 marked the first day of my second hospital stay and the second trip down the psychotic rabbit hole, which was book 2 after book 1 being the first trip. When God laid his hands on my spiritual heart and brought me back, he shattered the twisted black magic from my own folly and folly’s.
7 years later on 6-16-16 marks the first day of my third hospital stay. I did not go down the rabbit hole, but I learned what the darkness and the light and everything in between sounded like in my head. I learned discernment during that stay.
The face of evil leaves behind the darkest shadows that none can pluck. They haunt me and I learned to shut them out. It is so personal and potentially destructive, I cannot acknowledge these shadows in the wake of wisdom. They come from the darkest cesspool of Gehenna, where the filth and bodies are burned.
With the light of wisdom in the world comes the shadow of folly in the world. Both go hand in hand. I choose to pursue wisdom as best I can. The light brightens the more I pursue wisdom and love.
Decades later, I have a deeper connection with God as a result. I also have a connection with darkness I have learned to manage. The darkness is my shadow, not me. The brighter I shine, the smaller and darker the shadows become.
I am still building myself up at age 34 in 2020, 17 years after age 17 in 2003. My wife embodies that spirit of wisdom I encountered at age 17. My wife is a person of God and formed from my rib, the one wisdom indicated by name. I experience God through her.
The shadows stay in my little black box I made for them in my mind.
-theothersid3
I became married to my beautiful wife a few months ago. The all-encompassing, loving force she has on my naked self is stronger than gravity. I mean my dreams, my mind-heart, my spirit, my soul, my strength.
There have been many shifts in me since I met her. She helps me see the path to my dreams more clearly, we quench our thirsty mind-hearts together, she provides joy to my spirit, invites God into our lives and relationship, and takes care of me to keep my strength up.
Bipolar I is now a small burden to deal with. Instead, life is sprouting from those decomposed wounds of the past, and bipolar now acts as an inspiration of many great potentials. Inspirations in my daily life, my worldview, and my outlook for the rest of my life.
My wife and I have committed to write the books of our lives together till death do us part. If there is a way to follow her into the dark, I will without a doubt.
With each other, we can proceed to the next contexts of life and enjoy each moment. Together.
-theothersid3
photo credit: mclcbooks Sunrise, Chatfield State Park, Colorado via photopin (license)
theothersid3 