Now and Then

I just want to put it out there that bipolar I is not who I am… It’s something I have. When I live out my day, I don’t tell most people I’m bipolar, nor do I think about bipolar. It’s become a small part of me, but I choose to reflect on it so I can write about it for others who struggle with all of this.

When I was first diagnosed, bipolar was the biggest part of who I was, and at times it was me. When I lived out my days, I’d tell most people I met that I’m bipolar, and couldn’t stop thinking about bipolar. It became all of who I was, and I couldn’t stop writing about it and thinking about it to figure out what the heck was going on. I vented to friends and family a lot about it, burning many people out.

I still remember the moment I was diagnosed, that the doctor said I would lead a relatively normal life. He was right, as much as in the past I wanted to slap him in the face for what he said as it seemed impossible. It’s taken over ten years for normality to become reality, and it’s worth all the hard work, no questions asked.

Do you know any people who are mental illness survivors?

Ahoy, hoy!

Hi, I am making the shift from .tumblr to WordPress. My old page is at:

http://the-other-sid3.tumblr.com/

As of now, I’m an anonymous male in my late twenties, who has been diagnosed with bipolar I (a bad form of manic depressive illness) for over ten years. I’ve gotten things together pretty well. Now I intend to write about my experiences mostly for the benefit of other people going through similar things that I did, and to reinforce my belief that bad things happen for many reasons.

My dream that I’m breaking down into goals now is to publish a nonfiction book of my two psychotic episodes I experienced in 2003 and 2009. Many ideas are on the table, especially writing it in the form of stream of consciousness. My blog will serve as a record and an outlet as I embark on this long journey.

For the longest time, I knew no one who experienced something like a psychotic break, and this made me feel lonely, alienated. To those who have experienced the profound horrors of a break/episode/psychosis/whatever-you-want-to-call-it, I hope to put this book out there to vividly demonstrate they are not alone and normality can become reality.

I appreciate any feedback and suggestions, and any support you give is treasured.

Do any of you know someone who has bipolar? Are you bipolar? Please share your thoughts about this project I’m beginning to embark on.