Beyond Laughing and Crying

Mixed episodes are the worst… I don’t know whether I should be jumping for joy or bawling in my pillow and everything in between, all at once. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I don’t feel like doing shit. I feel like killing myself over it. All I want is for it to just go away and never come back… Then roller coaster my way back up to the top of the world at the same time and I don’t know whether I should be jumping for joy or bawling in my pillow and everything in between…

I’m just remembering what it was like to have a mixed episode… It’s one of the worst set of feelings, ever. Have any of you had mixed episodes before?

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theothersid3

I am a male, mid thirties, diagnosed with severe bipolar I in 2004. It's a small part of my life, now. I love to write on my blog, where I am known simply as theothersid3. I have a special interest in bipolar, spirituality, philosophy, and recovery. During the day/night, I work in a factory. I spend time outside writing in my journals about many things. Some day, I hope I can help a lot of people who struggle with severe bipolar and their loved ones through what I write. This is an anonymous blog, and I'm reaching out to the world when I can, to strive for this goal of mine. My wife has enabled me to strive farther than I thought I ever could. I love you!

2 thoughts on “Beyond Laughing and Crying”

  1. I have mixed states during the transitions between the extremities of my mood. Currently at the end of a manic cycle, a bipolar II myself. Off medication for almost a year and learning from my experiences with this beast to live more productively by taming it.

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