Depression, Mania, and The Voice

Mind's EyeApparently, when I’m abysmally depressed, I’m susceptible to obsessing about suicide for one reason or another. In some cases, the feelings I have contain little or no warrant is there for me to feel that way. I would be open to the notion that demons channel their will into my head in those cases, gathered from what I’ve seen and experienced before.

When I have been truly manic on the other hand, which has happened twice so far in my lifetime, I walk the line between the physical and nonphysical. I walk with other people and other beings who seem to be part of what many would call God, yet there’s a strong connection between all parts of the universe itself. I kiss wisdom on the lips and slide back into reality at an utter loss of words at what just happened. I spent part of a decade trying to unwind these 2 experiences, and have hardly gotten anywhere, it seems.

One thing that shines through it all is a certain voice, whether mine or someone/something else’s that always walks the path of love in the level I do not fully understand. Love as a parent’s unconditional love for his or her child. This voice comes from the center of my confusing existence. I can choose to shut it out, like I have been lately.

But now, I’m opening it up again.

photo credit: atomicshark via photopin cc

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theothersid3

I am a male, mid thirties, diagnosed with severe bipolar I in 2004. It's a small part of my life, now. I love to write on my blog, where I am known simply as theothersid3. I have a special interest in bipolar, spirituality, philosophy, and recovery. During the day/night, I work in a factory. I spend time outside writing in my journals about many things. Some day, I hope I can help a lot of people who struggle with severe bipolar and their loved ones through what I write. This is an anonymous blog, and I'm reaching out to the world when I can, to strive for this goal of mine. My wife has enabled me to strive farther than I thought I ever could. I love you!

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